FOOD LOVERS. (A cheesy tale)

A very simple homework; write a story about food.
I did my best!

FOOD LOVERS. (A cheesy tale)

The Grapes were a mean bunch. They clung close to each other, and no one outside the family group was welcome in their part of town. There had been years of animosity between them, and the neighboring Banana Bunch.

There was a rumor on the Grapevine that trouble was kicking off in town. Sure enough- there was a fruit free-for-all, with the Grapes of wrath waging war on the Banana Bunch; there was skin and hair flying in all directions, and some very nasty bruising on the side of the Bananas. The Grapes took a crushing defeat, and limped home, cursing and whining as they went.

Both families lived within the boundaries of the Big Apple where the Governor, ‘Big Cheese’ was getting fed up with the constant feuding, he finally declared that further fallouts would result in heavy-handed punishment and a possible fruit crush.

In an attempt to try to lighten the mood of the Big Apple, Big Cheese announced a Cheese Ball, a large party in costume for the Banana Bunch to attend.  The Grapes were not invited, as they could not be in the trusted in the same room as the Banana Bunch. Furthermore it was Big Cheese’s plan that his dashing young son, Camembert, should make the acquaintance of a certain young lady from the Banana family.

The dark skinned beauty and curvy figure of Rhiana Banana had turned the head of many a Big Apple’s inhabitants.

The night of the Cheese Ball arrived and was held in the grounds of Ham-and-tongue Court Palace. (Hampton Court Palace)

It was a beautiful setting for the party. People in amazing costumes wandered around its gardens. The river ran alongside, with floating swans and a gentle breeze. It was the perfect setting for romance. Rhiana Banana’s carefully chosen costume as a shiny red cherry drew many admiring looks.

The food was piled high on tables, topped with an ice sculpture that looked good enough to melt in your mouth.

Soon young Camembert was dancing with all the eligible young ladies; he was a cool as a cucumber, with a dashing outfit in fifty shades of green. The Cheese Ball was a great success! Despite Big Cheeses plan to marry off Camembert with Rhiana Banana, unbeknown to him a young man called ‘Gilbert Grape’ had sneaked in to the Cheese Ball, cleverly costumed as a mushroom to evade detection.

Gilbert thus brilliantly disguised danced across the floor, when his gaze fell on Rhiana in her cherry costume, and thought; “Hmm, she looks good enough to eat”

Rhiana was equally taken with Gilbert’s mushroom costume, and thought, “He looks like a fun-guy” (fungi)

Now all thoughts of Camembert were driven from Rhiana Banana’s mind. As they danced, Gilbert pulled her close and whispered in her ear ‘If food be the music of love, play on…’

Eventually the young couple disappeared into the darkness of the night with no thought of anyone else Gilbert declared his love to Rhiana, and revealing to her that under his mushroom costume, he was really a Grape. Rhiana knew in her heart that Gilbert was a forbidden fruit, but she could not stop herself.

Late into the night after much kissing, Gilbert took Rhiana’s cherry, gently peeling her costume away. He discovered that Rhiana’s beauty was more than just skin deep.

The lovers then decided that they must be married at once, and set off to find Fryer Chip who was happy to help. Fryer Chip had for a long time wanted to see an end to fighting between the Grapes and the Bananas, and he saw this marriage as a positive step towards joining the two families. It was a fruitful union, but trouble lay ahead.

Meanwhile, in other news, Rhiana’s cousin, Bertrand Banana was up to no good. He was the rotten apple in the Banana family a bad lad to the very core. He had seen though Gilbert’s mushroom disguise at the Cheese Ball, and it left a bad taste in his mouth. Things took a turn for the worst, and Gilbert ended up killing cousin Bertrand, slicing him like a loaf of banana bread.

Well, this sort of thing didn’t go unnoticed, and swiftly Gilbert was exiled. Poor Rhiana, her cousin was dead, her husband exiled and now Big Cheese was intent on forging ahead with wedding preparations for her to marry Camembert, having no idea that she was already a married woman!

In her distress she turned to the only person who she could trust- Fryer Chip. She poured out her troubles, and the Fryer could see she was in hot deep fat. But being a bit of an alchemist on the side, he was good at brewing up. He had watched enough episodes of ‘Ready, Steady, Cook!’ to concoct a decent potion. Between them, they came up with a cunning plan; the night before Rhiana’s wedding to Camembert she would ingest the potion he made and would appear as dead.

She would marinade for two days.

The Fryer would get word to Gilbert and the lovers would be reunited when she awoke from her death like sleep.

So far, so good. Things went according plan and Rhiana was declared ‘dead’, and laid in the family crypt.

This is where things went horribly wrong. If you have a delicate tummy, read no further. Poor Gilbert. News of the plan didn’t reach his ears, but the death of Rhiana did. He turned a nasty shade of purple, then white as he digested the news. On the way over to the crypt to see Rhiana for what he thought was the last time he purchased a small bottle of poison.

Finally alone with the deeply sleeping Rhiana, Gilbert was overcome with grief, crying out ‘Oh, my sweet Banana!” as he swallowed the poison.

When Rhiana finally awakes, she now sees the dead Gilbert and makes fruitless attempt to revive him. She is over come with grief declaring ‘You were the best of the bunch’

Then she takes Gilbert’s knife and plunges it into her heart, tearing it in two.

When the families rush in they are confronted by Fryer Chip, who laments;  “Gilbert died of food poisoning, and Rhiana is a Banana split”

THE END.